when you're lonely... the heart cries out...
when nightmares return, again and again to haunt you...
you can't sleep, for fear of dreaming.
you can't close your eyes, for terror lurks in the shadows...
... I'm scared...
but my fear is the opposite...
I'm scared of waking, because the next day brings time on wings.
I'm scared of opening my eyes, because it means that a new day has risen...
time flies... like a flash, a wave... a ghost of a memory long gone to past...
whats there to live for? when your life is in shambles?
whats there to hope for? when you only see mockery in people's eyes?
whats there to fight for? when all you see is defeat?
... life in army is so phobia-inducing that i live in constant fear and apprehension at what is going to come next...
... i lost one battle.. will I lose the next?
.. again? and again?.. and again...
... so many questions.. so little answers...
....
so many conflicting remarks, responses and replies...
I just want to live the life I used to live...
carefree and happy...
instead of constantly living in the shadow of fear...
... I don't think I could have survived, if not for a single thread that I clinged on so tight onto...
... love.
...its sounds mushy and stupid right?....
but.. its all I have, all I am now...
I've even lost myself in depression..
... mindlessly waiting for the person I love to hold me close again...
... I'm so alone... missing you..
*cries*
I want my Alvin...
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